Every morning, I wake up with a plan.
Not a good plan, obviously. But a plan.
The plan usually starts with me setting my alarm the night before and thinking, “Tomorrow I’m going to wake up early, make a nice breakfast, do my skincare, and take my time getting ready.”
Very ambitious.
Then morning comes.
My alarm rings.
I open one eye, look at the time, and somehow convince myself that five more minutes cannot possibly change my entire day.
Spoiler: it can.
Those five minutes somehow turn into twenty.
And suddenly I’m sitting in bed staring at the clock like it has personally betrayed me.
“Wait… HOW is it already 8:30?”
At that point, breakfast is cancelled, coffee becomes an emergency, and my beautiful morning routine disappears into the same mysterious place where all my missing hair ties go.
And then I remember:
I still have to do my makeup.
The Bathroom Panic
I run to the bathroom with my hair looking like I fought a pillow and lost.
I turn on the light, look in the mirror, and immediately regret it.
My face is puffy, my hair is doing something completely independent of me, and my eyes are basically saying, “Please don't make us participate today.”
But there is no time for negotiations.
Makeup time.
Concealer: My Morning Therapist
First, concealer.
I put it under my eyes and try to erase every piece of evidence that I stayed up too late watching videos I absolutely did not need to watch.
I blend it with my fingers because finding a makeup sponge would require time, organization, and a functioning brain.
None of those things are available before 9 a.m.
Blush Makes Me Look Alive
Then I reach for blush.
This is my favorite part because blush can completely change the situation.
Without blush: “I have not slept since 2017.”
With blush: “Good morning! I woke up refreshed and probably went for a walk.”
The truth?
I woke up late and nearly put my shirt on backwards.
But the cheeks are looking cute, so we move on.
My Eyebrows Refuse to Cooperate
Then come my eyebrows.
Why do eyebrows always behave perfectly when you don't have anywhere to go?
But the moment you're late, suddenly one eyebrow wants to be adventurous.
I brush them up and try to make them look even.
They don't.
At some point I just stare at them and think:
“You know what? You two can be different. I have bigger problems.”
Mascara and the Moment of Fear
Mascara is usually easy.
Until you're late.
Then suddenly my hand forgets how hands work.
I carefully apply mascara while trying not to poke myself in the eye.
One tiny mistake and I have a black mark under my eye.
Do I have time to remove it?
No.
Do I panic?
Absolutely.
Do I eventually wipe it away with a cotton bud and pretend nothing happened?
Also absolutely.
The Lipstick Disaster
Then comes lipstick.
This is where things can go terribly wrong.
If I have time, I use a proper lipstick.
If I'm running extremely late, I grab a tinted balm and call it a day.
Because the last thing I need at 8:47 in the morning is to accidentally draw my lipstick outside my lips and then spend five minutes trying to fix it.
I've learned my lesson.
Some makeup products are for calm people.
I am not calm.
The Final 30 Seconds...
Finally, I look in the mirror.
I check my makeup.
I check my hair.
I check my outfit.
Everything seems okay.
Then I notice one tiny thing:
My mascara has somehow ended up on my eyelid.
Of course it has.
I clean it up, grab my bag, and run out the door.
Halfway downstairs, I realize I forgot my keys.
Back upstairs.
Then I realize I forgot my phone.
Back upstairs again.
At this point, I'm no longer getting ready.
I'm doing cardio.
And Somehow… I Still Make It
Eventually, I leave the house looking reasonably presentable.
Nobody knows that twenty minutes earlier I was running around my room with one shoe on, searching for my keys while holding a mascara wand in one hand.
And honestly?
That's the beauty of quick makeup.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
It just has to make me look slightly more organized than I actually am.
Five minutes, a little concealer, some blush, mascara, lip balm—and suddenly I'm ready to face the world.
Or at least ready enough to get through the morning without anyone realizing how chaotic it really was.
And tomorrow?
Tomorrow I am definitely waking up early.
I promise.
Probably.
Maybe.
